To my seasoned sisters, praise to you for all that you are – foundations of family and community, channels of life, divinely created manifestations of the feminine spirit of grace, love, nurturance, iron-willed in purpose and passion for things that matter, and providers of rich living and future legacy for younger generations.

You are truly awesome.  Celebrate all that you are.  If you have been influenced in any way by the prejudices of today’s culture with its emphasis on youth and beauty (beauty being defined with a youth bias), I invite you to let go of those influences.

Fully embrace a mindset that celebrates the richness and beauty of older women.  Envision yourself today as a beautiful, radiant, confident woman living with passion and purpose.

Here are some practices and behaviors that help to ground you in loving all that you are:

1.  Love your body.  Loving your body counters the emphasis on “right” body image culturally defined in terms of youth and body shape.  

How:

Stand naked and proud in front of a full length mirror.  Talk to your body lovingly.  “I love you; you are beautiful just as you are”.  Massage your body with fragrant oil or lotion continuing to say “I love you; you are beautiful just as you are”. In this way you and your body experience love and acceptance.  Remember there is no criteria, or “if onlys” for loving your body.

Be aware of your behavior toward your body.  If you find yourself continuously  tugging at your clothes or otherwise trying to cover up your body, instead affirm “I am comfortable with my body in all settings.  With confidence and pride I will allow my physical self to be fully present in any situation.”

Avoid comparing your body to that of others, especially younger women.  Your body was designed to undergo physical changes with the passing of years.  My great day of liberation came when I no longer compared myself to younger women or my younger self, put on a bathing suit showing my body just as it was in its seasoned state and knew I was still “hot”.  (You are too!)  It is critical to avoid self disparaging negative comparisons.    

If this applies to you—resist talking about your weight and the “five pounds” you’ve been trying to lose.There is no need for shame or sympathy.  If this is important to you find a system or a support group that works for you, but don’t focus on your weight as a failing or character flaw.  One woman, in my circle of life affirming women, found that she was able to manage her weight only after she loved and accepted her body just as it was.  Her weight management is now joyful rather than painful and she is a model and encouragement to others.

2.  Love your good looks.  And yes they are good looks because they are your looks.  By loving your looks you boldly counter the cultural notion that women are no longer attractive after a certain age. 

3.  Practice healthy living which supports vitality and overall well being. Nutritious diet, hydration, sleep and exercise naturally enhance your body and skin health and appearance.  74 year old Barbara, a retired college professor and a woman of style and positive energy continues to wow her physicians with her radiant skin and superb health.  Her secret?  Taking control over her health and well being with diet, exercise, yoga and living purposely but serenely.

4.  Be spiritually grounded. Whether you are religiously affiliated or not, recognize the importance of connecting to the Divine however you do so.  In this way you connect with the source of your inner beauty which resonates outward and which is ageless.  This was very evident with a Marjorie, a neighbor and colleague who exuded a inner beauty and magnetism that drew people to her throughout her life well into her late 80’s. 

5.  Thrive in community with likeminded, life affirming “kick up your heels” women who love and accept themselves in this stage of life. Avoid or spend much less time with those who do not.

6.  Live with passion and purpose, whatever that means to you, without permission or apology.  Only you can define what’s meaningful to you and what you are capable of doing or becoming.  Find it, pursue it and let it infuse your life with joy. The joy of living this way shows up in the vibrancy of your face and body.

7.   Enjoy the services of style and beauty consultants if you are so inclined.  For some this may not be immediately enticing but if you have been thinking about it why not give it a try.  This can be both fun and inexpensive as well as a shared activity with others.

8.  Appreciate that you can have style and glamour at any age.  This was demonstrated at a fashion show sponsored by the senior adult ministry at a Bay Area church a few years ago.  The models, most ranging in age from 50-90 modeled fashionable clothes from sportswear to evening wear with poise, “pizzazz” and elegance.   The audience (I was present) was excited and delighted with the entire presentation.  This event made a clear statement that beauty and style were not the exclusive domain of youth.

9.  Know with profound conviction that the bottom line is self love.  It’s all about what you think about yourself, your body, your face, your purpose.  Love every part of yourself and every fabric of your being. 

You are awesome, divinely created and a gift to the world.  Claim your space on the stage, vibrant, confident, sensational.

©Sheila Stevens, 2018