Okay, it’s really not about humanizing your boss. It’s about your paradigm shift from seeing them as “difficult” (some people have worse terms) to seeing them as human beings just like you. He or she, like you, comes with a unique set of strengths, limitations, aspirations, interests and yes, pressures and constraints

How does this play out in the workplace?   Consider these steps to a more satisfying relationship with your boss:

1. First, practice putting yourself in your boss’s shoes. Seek to see things from his or her point of view. Understand his or her personality type and management style. Find out what things are of high concern for your boss, for example personal goals, pressures and frustrations, and relationships with superiors and others in the organization.  This information not only puts you in the position to support your boss, but increases your ability to influence your boss.

2. Key in on strengths as well as limitations. The days of boss as “superman” or “superwoman” are long past. Keying in on strengths is important because you can truthfully acknowledge your boss’s strengths, talents and contributions to the organization. Keying in on limitations is important because it suggests how you can compensate for your boss’s limitations, automatically making you an asset to your boss and a valuable team player.

3. Be credible. To have any real influence with your boss you must be trustworthy. This means you must be a high level performer, deliver what you say you will deliver, even beyond and above, and maintain high ethics. These behaviors position you well in the eyes of your boss. Being able to trust subordinates is critical for any leader. Regardless of your feelings about your boss never participate in negative conversations about him or her. On the flip side, subordinates who cannot be trusted automatically create mobility and even retention problems for themselves.

4. Communicate clearly and regularly with your boss. Keep him or her abreast of your progress. By no means surprise your boss with “bad news”. By delaying or withholding negative information you may make matters worse by creating an immediate crisis when the matter could have been addressed earlier. Remember also that your boss has a boss that will hold him or her accountable regardless to whether or not your boss was “caught by surprise.” Chances are you will experience the consequences of any negative “fallout” from above

5. Above all make your boss look good! His or her success is your success, and you will be appreciated for your contribution to that success. Consider also that other managers may have their eyes out for talent. Making your current manager look good casts a favorable light on you if you are seeking a promotion or to expand your skills in other areas of the organization.

6. Finally see your boss as a whole person. Seek to connect on levels other than the tasks. Find out about his or her interests, hobbies, or outside activities. It may surprise you that connecting in this way may make your boss more receptive on work related issues. Most people respond favorably when they feel you are sincerely interested in them. Remember “rapport will take you far”. By the way this is good strategy for all of your working relationships. Caveat: be genuine. Most people quickly see through attempts at manipulation.

The Good News — With a shift in how you see your boss, supervisors or leaders, you will likely experience a shift in your own stress level (reduced) your own enthusiasm about your job (increased) and a more productive and satisfying relationship with those above you.

©Sheila Stevens, 2018